If you’ve ever been hit by a life tornado, a.k.a. a million responsibilities or obligations hitting at once or maybe experiencing back-to-back challenges, then you may be familiar with the feelings of panic and overwhelm that can accompany the storm.

It can feel like a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as well as physiological symptoms such as shortness of breath, feeling lightheaded and heart palpitations.

It’s not the most fun state of being, and many of us will do almost anything to get out of it as soon as possible, which is fair.

Sometimes, though, in trying to move away from the not-so-great feelings and thoughts, we will focus on changing the outside circumstances (or just hyperfocus on the circumstances if we can’t really do anything to change them) rather than focusing on changing our inner state, or building a sense of calm. I.e. “If I can fix the situation, then I’ll feel better.”

Outside of a crisis or emergency situation, the issue with this approach is that we run the risk of creating more chaos or perpetuating the state of overwhelm.

For example, maybe we get a quick idea for a potential solution that somewhat resolves the situation but ultimately causes more issues down the line. Whereas if we had waited a little while longer and come from a calmer state, we might have come up with a better longer-term solution.

Or, we might become so fixated on controlling outside circumstances that feelings of anxiety and overwhelm just build and build.

Either way, while it can be challenging to essentially sit on our hands in regards to what may be going on around us and instead focus internally first, the benefit of doing so can contribute to better outcomes for both our wellbeing and the external circumstances.

So how can you start to create a sense of calm when things feel chaotic?

Breathe

Please don’t shoot the messenger, but it is true. Focusing on our breath when feeling overwhelmed or stressed can be an efficient way to induce a sense of calm. (And who doesn’t love efficiency? Especially when we don’t feel so great.)

While it can be one of the last things we turn to, especially if we’re stuck in our head and feeling disconnected from our body, consciously focusing on our breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us to relax by initiating a “rest and digest” state v. the “fight or flight” state of the sympathetic nervous system.

Deep, diaphragmatic breathing also sends more oxygen to the brain, and as a result, we are able to think more clearly. Additionally, there’s research that suggests that breathing patterns are linked to different emotional states, so if we can change the pattern of breath, we can elicit a different feeling (i.e. shifting from stress to calm).

There are tons of different breathing techniques or strategies you can use or try, but whichever you choose, try and stick with it long enough that you notice yourself calming down. You can use scaling (rating your state of calm or anxiety on a scale of 1-10) to help quantify the change if that’s helpful.

Ground or Orient to the Present Moment

In addition to breathing exercises, there are a number of ways to continue to ground ourselves or bring our attention to the here and now, which can help to counteract racing thoughts, analysis paralysis and emotional overwhelm.

One tip is to pick techniques that work for you based on what you need in the moment.

For example, need to distract from racing thoughts? Try a mental strategy like counting down from 1,000 or naming all the state capitals.

Feeling somewhat dissociated or disconnected from your body? Try taking a walk or eating a favorite food, but practice noticing the flavor and texture of what you’re eating to help engage the senses.

Focusing on the breath and grounding are just a couple of strategies to get started with building a sense of inner calm. Stay tuned for next week’s newsletter, which will cover another aspect that sometimes gets overlooked.

Additional Takes on Finding Calm

“22 Ways to Calm Yourself Down” via Healthline

“Deep Breathing and Relaxation” via the University of Toledo Counseling Center

“(How To) Be a Calm Person” via Psychology Today