When someone asks you what you do for self-care, what’s your typical answer?

A lot of us will likely respond with something like reading a book, watching a movie, talking to a friend or loved one, taking a walk, buying ourselves something nice, basically doing things that make us feel good in the moment, and those are all valid forms of self-care. (Highly recommend.)

But there can be another layer or level to caring for ourselves that may have longer term effects and that may sometimes get lost or put to the side in favor of the more immediate gratification of the above.

This additional layer of self-care involves making choices that are aligned with our values. For example, being able to set boundaries, care for our environment, set and work toward our goals, etc.

And while it may take slightly more work or effort in the short term to engage in values-based strategies, practicing them can help to solidify our overall self-care efforts by creating a foundation to build on.

Read on for a deeper look at self-care and three values-based strategies to help ensure our own wellbeing.

Self-Care v. Treating Ourselves

One reason we might seek out shorter-term, more immediate self-care is because it has become so popular.

There was a recent article on Vox.com that argued that as existential dread has increased over the last couple of decades, so too has the marketing of self-care as an antidote. 

Self-care, in a lot of ways, has become synonymous with treating ourselves, which is not always a bad thing, but it reduces a pretty powerful concept into a commodity. 

Not to mention if we can’t afford some of those types of self-care, we might start beating ourselves up for our life choices or making the assumption that if it’s out of our budget, then we can’t truly partake in self-care. 

But that’s not true, and there is more to caring for ourselves than buying a material item or getting a facial. 

In the Vox article, the author, Allie Volpe, argues that self-care through consumerism can also perpetuate a never-ending cycle of buying things to make ourselves feel better. 

In other words, we get stuck in a cycle of seeking something outside of ourselves to soothe our inner state of anxiety, stress, despair, whatever it may be, and because that really only provides temporary relief, around and around we go.

Balancing Short- and Long-Term Needs

Somewhat similar is when we engage in activities that are not necessarily commodified but they’re still external and provide a shorter-term sense of relief but they can be at the cost of our longer term needs. 

For example, we might get lost in a hobby that allows us to feel good in the moment but it comes at the cost of having time to clean our home or apartment, or maybe we’re sacrificing time put toward personal or professional goals. 

Maybe we get lost in a video game or reading or binging a TV show. It feels good in the moment to be able to escape (and escapism is not always detrimental and is sometimes necessary), but if we do it too much and it’s costing us in the long run, then it may be a sign that we could benefit from a more balanced approach to self-care. 

So it’s not about abstaining completely from things that allow us to escape or enjoy an immediate feel-good effect, which are both beneficial, but building up an awareness around why we might be choosing to engage in certain things. 

For example, if we’re spending a lot of money on bath bombs because we’re stressed out at work when we are also trying to save to buy a house or a car or to pay for school, then is that particular method of self-care really the most beneficial? Could we instead spend an afternoon making a budget or researching different investment opportunities?

The more honest we can be with ourselves, the more self-honoring choices we tend to make, and that’s the true essence of self-care: Assessing what we need, as well as what is going to benefit us in the long run, and then making choices to align with that. 

So what are some more values-based self-care strategies that can reap longer term benefits?

• Setting boundaries

What are you allowing into your mental/emotional/physical space? Who do you spend time around? What do you listen to? What do you read? How much news and social media do you consume?

We may not always be paying attention to how some of those things are affecting our well-being, but they can have a tremendous effect. For example, have you ever found yourself doom scrolling or checking the news more frequently when feeling stressed? It’s likely not going to assist in reducing the stress level. Sometimes we may need to stop and ask who and what we're allowing into our “space” if we're feeling off or not ourselves.

• What is the state of your environment?

There’s research that suggests that the state of our living space, whether cluttered or clean, can be a reflection of our inner state of being and vice versa—i.e. if we’re living in a state of clutter, then we are more likely to feel out of sync, distracted or stressed.

It may be a chicken-and-egg situation, whether the chaos is stemming first internally or externally, but if we notice that our environment is more disorganized or cluttered than we are used to, could this be an area to focus on?

Not only could the act of cleaning and organizing help us to self-soothe in and of itself, but a more organized, cleanly environment (which will be subjective and relative to everybody's unique standards) could also reflect how we're feeling about ourselves—that we're willing to put in the time and effort to ensure a comfortable living space. In other words, that we’re willing to invest in ourselves.

• How do you feel?

What is your current energy level? Have you been feeling more down or irritated lately or maybe just not yourself?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, could it be because you’re not getting enough sleep or maybe eating a lot of junk or not moving or exercising like you normally do, or maybe you know you really need to go to the doctor but keep putting it off?

A lot of times we put our bodies and our physical/mental/emotional well-being to the side in favor of more fun things, or what might seem like an obligation but really isn’t, or because we’ve gotten really good at ignoring some of the signs that are telling us (maybe even screaming at us) that we may need to take better care of ourselves. 

The more attuned we are with our inner state, however—be it physical, mental, emotional—the more attuned we are to what we need. And the better attuned we are to what we need, the better able we are to take actions toward meeting that need and, thus, care for ourselves.

For more on the topic of self-care and how to take it even a bit further, you could also check out the book Real Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist and professor whose work focuses on helping those struggling with burnout, despair, depression and anxiety. In her book, Lakshmin explains how turning inward for self-care strategies can also be a self-empowering move.

Additional Takes on Self-Care

“Self-care: Why looking after No 1 isn’t always best for your wellbeing” via the Guardian
An argument for the potential self-care benefits of altruism.

“You Can’t Fix Burnout with Self-Care” via Scientific American’s Science Quickly podcast
The episode sheds light on the importance of individualized self-care, but also suggests that structural change, especially at work, may be needed to counteract symptoms of burnout.

“Serena Williams: Redefining Confidence Through Self-Care” via the Deccan Chronicle
Insights into the tennis pro’s take on self-care, including her “put-your own-oxygen-mask-on-first” approach to parenting and work.

“Make Time for Self-Care in the Workplace” via Forbes
Tips for incorporating self-care strategies at work.