There’s a fair amount of research showing that gratitude can be a helpful tool in life. Studies have shown that it can help boost mood, increase feelings of happiness, and even rewire our brain and improve mental health over time.

Whether you’re journaling every day or making it a conscious practice to notice things, people or experiences that you love and appreciate, choosing gratitude can also provide a sense of agency—a choice to notice the good around us.

Like many things, though, finding or expressing gratitude can be easier when things are going well.

“No one ‘feels’ grateful that they have lost a job or a home or good health or has taken a devastating hit on their retirement portfolio,” Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, wrote in Greater Good Magazine.

In the article, Emmons makes the distinction between feeling and being grateful, noting that it’s difficult for most of us to completely control our emotions and, “will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy,” especially when circumstances are challenging.

We can, however, make the decision to be grateful by shifting our perspective around those circumstances. Emmons also wrote that it is actually during the hard times that we should be making more of a conscious effort to be grateful.

“It is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life,” he wrote. “In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times.”

It’s easier said than done, but focusing on the positive, even when things suck, can essentially provide an emotional/mental cushion to some of the struggle.

Again, easier said than done, and sometimes we may even feel that something is wrong with us if we can’t find something to be grateful for if we’re in the thick of a rough patch.

So, if it’s hard to find appreciation, whatever the reason, a slight twist on gratitude can be to find thanks in what you are learning from a situation.

For example, maybe someone, let’s call her Sally, is feeling down because she lost her job. She was laid off after dedicating 10 years to a company, working 60-70 hour weeks, hardly ever taking a day off and giving more than was expected.

Sally could (rightfully) be feeling somewhat bitter and resentful and notice that that she has a more pessimistic outlook than normal, wondering what is there to be grateful for.

If that’s where she is, Sally might want to first validate her experience, or affirm that she just experienced a significant loss and it’s OK to feel sad, angry or however she’s feeling.

Then, with maybe some space and time, a next step could be to try and identify any lessons she might have learned from the experience.

For example, was it possible that Sally was overworking herself to try and impress others? Does she wish she’d actually taken her vacations and enjoyed her well-earned time off? Did she even like the job or was she mostly motivated by social or internal pressure to devote herself to a field that she secretly disliked?

Who knows, but there’s probably at least one thing that the experience might illuminate or serve as a lesson learned, and that’s something that Sally can take with her into her next job, whatever that is.

While acknowledging what you learned is not always easy, finding appreciation for the lessons can alleviate the sting of the experience. It is no longer just about the loss, but it can also be an opportunity for growth.

“Processing a life experience through a grateful lens does not mean denying negativity,” Emmons wrote in his article. “It is not a form of superficial happiology. Instead, it means realizing the power you have to transform an obstacle into an opportunity. It means reframing a loss into a potential gain, recasting negativity into positive channels for gratitude.”

It also provides an opportunity to practice more self-compassion, which can make it easier to walk through hard times.

So if you’re going through a rough time and struggling to find much to be grateful for, can you try and find appreciation for what the experience is teaching or showing you?

Additional Takes on Gratitude in Hard Times

“How to find things to be grateful for (even when it's tough)” via Calm

“How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times” via Greater Good Magazine

“Staying Grateful in Difficult Times” via Mental Health First Aid